The Xhosa Joan Collins

Now, this is obviously a 'Mama'*

"You use 'mama' for women one generation older than yourself and 'sisi' for those who are about the same age", the Xhosa**-teacher explained to his classroom full of pale white students. We had just learned the words for 'hello' (molo) and 'how are you?' (kunjani) and it was time to move on to the proper naming of the Xhosa people you encounter. "But what if you call some-one 'mama' who in fact is only slightly older than you?", one of my co-students wanted to know. Will that person be insulted?

But what about her?

The classroom begins to buzz. Apparently most of them had the same thought. "Once I stood up for an old man in the subway in London and he got angry", a guy says, "and everybody knows that women can be insulted easily if you think they are older than they really are". Are Xhosa women as sensitive about their age as western women? Is it a compliment if you say 'sisi' to a woman who is actually a 'mama'?

And her?

The teacher laughed at this display of westernized thinking. "It is a sign of respect to call an older woman 'mama'; no one will regard it as an insult". A doubtful hum went through the room. Nobody really truly believed it. In our minds we were thinking what would happen if we ever encounter the Xhosa-version of Joan Collins or Cher.
As a safety measure I made sure to learn the word for 'lady' (nkosikazi). No one will ever consider that an insult (I hope).


* picture courtesy of Herman Warnich
** Xhosa is one of the eleven official languages of SA. It is the home language of Nelson Mandela.